In a perfect world, we’d get on with everyone – especially our partner’s parents. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t always align with our expectations and often there’s conflict. There’s nothing worse than having issues with your partners mother in law as it can often create a lot of tension. There are a few things you can do to hopefully move past the situation and ultimately get to a good place. These things take time though and a little bit of effort on your part. Here are our tips for how to deal with a mother in law that drives you crazy:
1) Figure Out Why She’s Driving You Crazy
Is she overbearing, overprotective or over opinionated? Maybe she’s a combination of these things. If you can isolate what’s really annoying you, then you can start looking to move forward. Remember, you have every right to feel whatever you’re feeling, but everything comes down to perception. The way you see someone will be completely different to how someone else sees them. This is very important to keep in mind when talking to your partner about his parents.
2) Talk to Your Partner About Your Concerns
It’s probably best to avoid telling your partner that you think their mother is crazy, but bring up some of the specific things their mother does to upset you and ask what they think. Bare in mind some people can be very close to their mother and take anything negative you say about her as a personal insult. Tread lightly here as you are only discussing it to make progress, not to out-right insult your partner’s mother.
3) Try to Bond with Your Mother in Law
Find a common interest and try to bond over it. If your mother in law loves cooking or has a special recipe, ask her to teach it to you and add it to the family cook book. If cooking isn’t your area of speciality, perhaps you can help her out with something around her home or garden. Taking a little time to figure out something you’re both interested in that you can share in will do wonders for your relationship.
4) Take Space When You Need It
Often people find their mothers in law easy to deal with… in small doses. If she’s coming to stay or visiting a little more often than you’d like, take some time out. Breathing space is important and will allow you to keep cool, calm and collected. There’s no harm in taking some time out for yourself and it can really do you a world of good.
5) Don’t Stress About it
It’s natural to want to get on with your parents family, but it’s impossible to force bonds. If your mother in law drives you crazy despite trying all these steps, then maybe it’s better to just let things be for now. You’ve committed enough to your partner to marry them, so you’re stuck with family. That doesn’t mean you have to let things get on top of you. It’s also important to realise that relationships evolve with time, so while your mother in law might drive you crazy now, in 5 years she might become one of your best friends.
Do you have any tips for dealing with a crazy mother in law?